Landing in a new country is one of those experiences that’s part thrilling, part terrifying, and almost always confusing. You’ve survived the airport, watched your stuff bounce around the globe with the help of professional movers, and suddenly, here you are—awkwardly pointing at a menu or just hoping you bought shampoo and not olive oil at the grocery store. (True story, by the way. Olive oil doesn’t lather.)

But here’s the real deal: Figuring out a new culture takes more than learning “hello” and “thank you” in the local language. There’s a whole mix of big and tiny things you can do to actually feel at home, not just like you’re passing through. Here’s what’s helped me, and what plenty of other fresh expats wish they’d figured out sooner.

Start Getting Curious (And a Bit Humble)

First things first, it’s totally normal to feel a little (or a lot) lost at the start. Neighborhood routines, school pick-ups, business hours—they might catch you off guard. The trick is to stay curious instead of frustrated. I used to keep a running list of “weird but cool” things I noticed in my new neighborhood. Neighbors watering their sidewalks? Unexpected holidays? Write it down. Ask people about it when you get the chance. Most locals love to explain the oddities and fill you in on what’s what.

Practice a Few Key Phrases, Even If You Butcher Them

Seriously, speaking your new language—even badly—opens doors you never knew were there. Nothing breaks the ice faster than a big smile and “I’m learning, sorry if this is wrong!” A lot of people will switch to English if they know it, but you get so much goodwill just by trying. Order your coffee, ask for directions, or stumble through a joke about the weather. It matters less how polished you sound and more that you’re showing some effort.

Find Your People (Hint: It’s Not Just Expats)

We all gravitate to what’s familiar, but don’t spend all your free time in the expat bubble. Yes, it’s nice to swap stories with folks who get why the pharmacy hours drive you nuts, but reach out locally too. Maybe join a neighborhood sports team, go to community cooking nights, or volunteer for clean-ups. One real friend on the ground is worth a dozen Facebook recommendations.

Routines—They’re Your New Best Friend

You might feel out of sync, but picking a couple of daily habits helps you feel grounded. Same bakery in the morning? Run in the park three times a week? Even just nodding at the same cashier gives you a sense of belonging. Eventually, you’ll start feeling a little less “foreigner lost in translation” and a little more “hey, this is my spot.”

Don’t Shy Away from Culture Shocks (Or Little Mistakes)

You will mess up—everyone does. Maybe you eat something weird, or totally blunder the way to greet someone’s grandma. Instead of beating yourself up, just roll with it. Laugh at the awkwardness and chalk it up as a story worth telling later. It’s wild how quickly those moments stop stinging and start feeling like badges of honor.

Learn the Essentials (And Where to Go for Help)

Figuring out the essentials early—banking, transportation, emergency numbers—lets you relax and enjoy the fun stuff. People will help you if you ask, and nowadays, expat forums or language exchange meetups are gold mines. 

Give Yourself Some Grace

Remember, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Culture shock wears off in waves, and the whole “assimilation” thing happens little by little. You don’t need to be perfect—or even close. Just keep showing up, keep asking questions, and give yourself permission to bumble around now and then. Years from now, you’ll look back and realize every awkward moment was part of becoming not just a visitor, but a real part of your new home.